"Pain"

Recently, I experienced a dramatic motorcycle accident.  Fortunately, with the exception of some rather grisly scratches and burns on my hands and arms, I walked away relatively unscathed.  The pain, however, of the accident has lingered both physically and emotionally.  Because I am unable to escape the discomfort of scabbing burns across my forearms, I have been forced to reflect on the ideology of pain.

I have decided that pain is not always bad.  It is, however, resultant of negative situations.  But, unlike roads to destinations, which are clearly right and wrong (ethical), and good or bad (moral), the objective itself is often more ambiguous.  Hypothesis: Pioneers traveling west will reach the West Coast.  If the covered wagons head east (in the “wrong direction”, ethically speaking), they will not reach the West Coast.  If they approach mountains and try to travel over the range (a “bad” decision, morally speaking), they will not reach the West Coast.  Thus, the means by which they travel hold significant ethical and moral implications.  However, the West Coast is neither good nor bad.  It is merely a destination, potentially blocked or reached depending on the route taken.  And, if the route leads to mountains, or the East Coast, neither destination is inherently wrong or bad, but rather a detour destined to clarify the correct path.  I see these alternative destinations analogous to pain. 

Pain allows us to reflect on mistakes made, on the good and bad road selection, and ultimately inspires us to determine the right path.  Life is so incredibly busy and preposterously convoluted with excessive minutia, we find ourselves annoyed when pain occurs.  The loss of a loved one, the breaking of our heart, the breaking of our arm, or the aching of our head all are perceived as something negative, when in reality, they are simply neutral results of a negative path forcing us to reexamine our own lives, relationships, choices, and desires. 

Advice:  The next time you experience pain, try to not focus on the destination, but the road that got you there.  See both physical and emotional pain as a reminder of our decisions.  If you only look at  the negative elements, you will undoubtedly never take the right road to reach the intended destination. 

"Manners"

It has come to my attention how incredibly ignorant the majority of men are to the basic rules of etiquette.   Manners are all but forgotten, and sadly, being a bestial and rude person in many circles is considered its own virtue.  I am consistently flabbergasted by the absurd behavior of my gender.  There was a time, not too long ago, when men would aggressively look for opportunities to showcase their manners.  Opening doors for others, giving up one’s chair, waiting to eat until after everyone is served, charming others with “please” and “thank you”, rolling up one's sleeves to help push a car in need of assistance, and all other chivalrous acts were embraced and pursued for the general sake of others.  Now, however, manners have been marginalized to decrepit lists of do’s and don’ts. 

            Instead of seeing manners as rule oriented, they should be viewed as a human privilege.  We get to be kind to others, and showcase polite behavior for the betterment of humanity.  We get to wave someone over into our lane during rush hour.  We get to practice acts of selflessness, giving back (whether or not deserved) to others.  We get to sacrifice our time, our resources, and our comfort.  I have never regretted giving up a chair, even if that means I’m uncomfortably sitting on the floor.  Nor have I ever regretted getting a little sweaty to help someone in need.  The fact is, we are inherently blessed by blessing others.  We receive the gift of satisfaction by giving to others.  Ultimately, manners are a way for men to re-define the nature of their environment, creating a tone that is both sophisticated and kind. 

           

Advice:  Look for opportunities to showcase kindness to humanity.  Give the gifts of your time, your resources, and your comfort.  Do not be content in mediocrity: instead, embrace excellence.  Define excellence as the active pursuit of bettering the world.  This pursuit of good manners is active, and requires a keen eye, but the results are satisfying for all parties involved.