"Success"

     Consider this inquiry: would we have any motivation without the promise of success?  The inevitably definitive answer to this question is “no”.  The very essence of the word “motivation” is derived from the word “motive”, which is referencing a motion toward a result.  My motive for cooking is to eat.  My motive for taking vitamins is to avoid sickness.  If I eat, my action of cooking is successful.  If I remain healthy, my action of ingesting vitamins is successful.  My awareness that the process of cooking ultimately results in my satiation, and swallowing vitamins results in balanced health provides motivation to accomplish said actions.

     Thus, virtually everything a man intentionally chooses to do is motivated by the desire of success.  I suppose the real question is how one defines success.  If a man is motivated by the end result of becoming rich, then the path that leads to this goal is potentially compromised by less than honorable actions, conniving and forcing one’s path to financial superiority.  If, however, a man is motivated by creating a business that can employ others, and provide security for his family (if his version of success is defined more by selflessness than selfishness), his motives would change, potentially reaching a similar goal as the man who is motivated purely by wealth, but with ultimately different success. Ergo, our perspective of what it means to be successful directly affects our actions.

     Thus, when considering how we are motivated, we must first define the definition of success.  Once the definition has been clarified, a man is far more likely to understand what motivates him, and how to use these motives to reach the promise of success.

Advice:  Examine your personal definition of success.  Understand that our view of success directly influences our motivation, and our motivation directly influences our actions.  When in doubt, administer the litmus test of “selfishness versus selflessness”, and allow your findings to directly affect your decision on how to achieve success.

"Pain"

Recently, I experienced a dramatic motorcycle accident.  Fortunately, with the exception of some rather grisly scratches and burns on my hands and arms, I walked away relatively unscathed.  The pain, however, of the accident has lingered both physically and emotionally.  Because I am unable to escape the discomfort of scabbing burns across my forearms, I have been forced to reflect on the ideology of pain.

I have decided that pain is not always bad.  It is, however, resultant of negative situations.  But, unlike roads to destinations, which are clearly right and wrong (ethical), and good or bad (moral), the objective itself is often more ambiguous.  Hypothesis: Pioneers traveling west will reach the West Coast.  If the covered wagons head east (in the “wrong direction”, ethically speaking), they will not reach the West Coast.  If they approach mountains and try to travel over the range (a “bad” decision, morally speaking), they will not reach the West Coast.  Thus, the means by which they travel hold significant ethical and moral implications.  However, the West Coast is neither good nor bad.  It is merely a destination, potentially blocked or reached depending on the route taken.  And, if the route leads to mountains, or the East Coast, neither destination is inherently wrong or bad, but rather a detour destined to clarify the correct path.  I see these alternative destinations analogous to pain. 

Pain allows us to reflect on mistakes made, on the good and bad road selection, and ultimately inspires us to determine the right path.  Life is so incredibly busy and preposterously convoluted with excessive minutia, we find ourselves annoyed when pain occurs.  The loss of a loved one, the breaking of our heart, the breaking of our arm, or the aching of our head all are perceived as something negative, when in reality, they are simply neutral results of a negative path forcing us to reexamine our own lives, relationships, choices, and desires. 

Advice:  The next time you experience pain, try to not focus on the destination, but the road that got you there.  See both physical and emotional pain as a reminder of our decisions.  If you only look at  the negative elements, you will undoubtedly never take the right road to reach the intended destination. 

"Manners"

It has come to my attention how incredibly ignorant the majority of men are to the basic rules of etiquette.   Manners are all but forgotten, and sadly, being a bestial and rude person in many circles is considered its own virtue.  I am consistently flabbergasted by the absurd behavior of my gender.  There was a time, not too long ago, when men would aggressively look for opportunities to showcase their manners.  Opening doors for others, giving up one’s chair, waiting to eat until after everyone is served, charming others with “please” and “thank you”, rolling up one's sleeves to help push a car in need of assistance, and all other chivalrous acts were embraced and pursued for the general sake of others.  Now, however, manners have been marginalized to decrepit lists of do’s and don’ts. 

            Instead of seeing manners as rule oriented, they should be viewed as a human privilege.  We get to be kind to others, and showcase polite behavior for the betterment of humanity.  We get to wave someone over into our lane during rush hour.  We get to practice acts of selflessness, giving back (whether or not deserved) to others.  We get to sacrifice our time, our resources, and our comfort.  I have never regretted giving up a chair, even if that means I’m uncomfortably sitting on the floor.  Nor have I ever regretted getting a little sweaty to help someone in need.  The fact is, we are inherently blessed by blessing others.  We receive the gift of satisfaction by giving to others.  Ultimately, manners are a way for men to re-define the nature of their environment, creating a tone that is both sophisticated and kind. 

           

Advice:  Look for opportunities to showcase kindness to humanity.  Give the gifts of your time, your resources, and your comfort.  Do not be content in mediocrity: instead, embrace excellence.  Define excellence as the active pursuit of bettering the world.  This pursuit of good manners is active, and requires a keen eye, but the results are satisfying for all parties involved.   

"Running"

I remember the first time I took a jog.  I went running on the beach with my dad when I was about 10 years old, and unlike the running I did as a kid, during a water gun fight, or a Nerf war, or playing baseball or football, this was a different kind of experience.  We went running for the sake of running.  The only thing gained from such an activity was the bi-products of a work out: burning of calories and fat, building of endurance, and increasing muscle mass.  Despite the many positive attributes, I recall feeling a certain level of disdain for running because the results were not immediate.  In a game like football, there is a winning side, a memory made, bragging rights, and tangible victory.  Running for the sake of the work out is a relative letdown.  However, the long term results of any kind of working out far surpasses the immediate satisfaction of a game.  The body is being prepared for something greater.  The daily routine yields not only a gradual change of physique, but also a noticeable change in character.  I now run for pleasure and integrity of self, no longer dreading the exhaust, but embracing the eventual benefits.  Maturity is grounded in the responsibility of preparation.  Working out prepares us for the many tasks and challenges we have yet to face.  Being stronger allows us to confidently defend the weak.  Being physically capable allows us to confidently protect those around us.  As men, working out ultimately allows us to be men.  It is the surplus ammo we keep for the moments we hope never happen.

Advice:  The next time you take a jog, imagine yourself pursuing someone who stole your girlfriends purse.  Imagine yourself running away from militant socialists taking over your city, and survival means you have another day to plan your rogue retaliation.  Imagine yourself running into battle, facing your enemies as men have done for centuries before us.

"Jeans"

  What ever happened to men taking pride in their personal style?  It is shocking to see just how poorly the male species tends to dress.  Even the most classically modern combination of male clothing, the t-shirt and jeans, has fallen prey to a lack of judgment.  Fortunately, there is an ethical way to wear these staples.  Here are some suggestions on jeans:

Jeans-Baggy jeans make men look shorter than they actually are. Boot-cut jeans create a disproportioned silhouette, and should only be worn when actually covering a boot (even then, the flare should be less than dramatic).  Skinny jeans only work for a man with skinny legs.  Wearing a slim-cut pair of jeans that fit at the waist and are cut straight down the leg with minimal fabric at the ankle will accentuate your height, create a classic silhouette, and ultimately complement your shoes.  The denim should be thick enough to ride a horse, but soft enough to ride a bike.  I prefer indigo-washed denim, and tend to shy away from light blue jeans, unless it is summertime.  During the summer months, nothing feels quite as classy as finishing a surfing session, drying off, and putting on a nice pair of light denim, paired with a simple cotton v-neck sweater with the sleeves rolled up just above the forearm and below the elbow, sitting on the sand, watching the sun set while sipping freshly brewed mango hot tea in a cup with a saucer, poured from a kettle heated over a camping stove.